Our greatest enemy, self-sabotage

Self-sabotage operates without our conscious awareness and it usually disguises itself as protection mechanism against an imagined, future harm. 

When we procrastinate, argue with partners, or undermine a successful transaction, we don't recognize these behaviours as self-imposed obstacles. 

We view them as rational, justified responses to people's actions or to circumstances. 

This mechanism has a variety of causes. The fear to be visible, exposed to everyone's judgment, or the belief that we are unworthy of success are amongst the most common reasons that trigger the self-sabotage automatic response.

These pseudo-protective demeanours become knee-jerk reactions to situations that put us in the limelight or have the potential of making us successful. 

A person who wants to succeed but deep down fears how success might change his life, might unconsciously deny himself good opportunities, alienate people or damage business relationships. 

That same person will then justify his actions with seemingly logical reasons.

The roots of self-sabotage lie in the gap between our conscious desires and our unconscious beliefs about our self-worth and our capabilities. 

The kid who was told not to shine so as not to arouse envy or jealousy in others learns to underperform, the teenager whose parents argued over money, unconsciously links money with family issues. 

Observing ourselves and the behaviours that repeat themselves in our life is key.

When we pay close attention to our behaviours and question the motives behind each action, we start to notice the email that could ruin a good opportunity or the procrastination that could cause a project to exceed its deadline.

This could be the difference between spending our lives slaves to our own self-imposed limitations and a life full of growth and success.